Though Meghan Markle and grandmother-in-law Queen Elizabeth are generally thought to get along (better than she does with sister-in-law Kate, at least), they don’t see eye-to-eye on every topic.
The word “pregnant,” for example — Meghan uses (and embodies) it, while the Queen deems the term “vulgar” and instead refers to expectant women as “in the family way.” Wedge heels are another point of contention among the royals — the Queen is not a fan. Anyway, as you can see, the disagreements are pretty minor … until it comes to the shadowy tabloid-obsessed figure du jour: Thomas Markle.
The Queen, who knows her way around a royal scandal (re: everything to do with the life and death of Princess Diana), reportedly wanted to nip the Mr. Markle issue in the bud, but the Duchess of Sussex had other plans — or, rather, lack thereof.
“[The Queen] was very concerned that [the Markle situation] was spiraling out of control, which it was,” a source told Vanity Fair. “Buckingham Palace wanted to be able to do something and be proactive and make the situation go away. It was a direction from the Queen, so her courtiers were under strict instructions to sort it out. But Kensington Palace was not singing from the same hymn sheet, and that was because the message was coming from Meghan. She didn’t want to engage and thought that she could handle it on her own.”
Naturally, the difference in opinion has led to some strain between Kensington and Buckingham Palace. “There was a lot of tension between courtiers within the two royal households, and I think it just got to a point where it was stalemate and, you know, neither could move,” the source continued.
And though the Queen of course outranks new royal Meghan, Princess Diana’s former private press secretary and author of The Meghan Factor, Patrick Jephson, posits that it’s extremely unlikely that anyone will go over Markle’s head. “This is her family, and no one at the palace would make a move without her,” he explained. “In talking about Meghan, I wouldn’t say that her advisers are doing a good job or a bad job. It is one of the perks of royalty never to be held responsible for their actions.”
According to a royal “observer,” though Meghan is still giving her dad the silent treatment, she’s amenable to a “probationary period during which he wouldn’t speak publicly” as a means to potentially repairing their relationship.
This article originally appeared on InStyle US